A real friend stabs you in the front

No. A real friend takes your dead dog for a ride in their car. That’s been my experience. Which made me think about what makes a true friend. The lines of friendship have been blurred in recent years with the popularity of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. The word ‘friend’ alone can be defined in various new ways. A person you care about and enjoy being with or simply someone you allow to view your personal profile information and daily posted ramblings. I’ll admit to using the word ‘friend’ to refer to acquaintances or even a friend of a friend. It may be quicker but is it accurate?

Just as all of you do when preparing for vacation, we asked our ‘friends’ to keep watch over our animals. They generously agreed. This is no small task. It required driving to our home every day, watering and feeding chickens and collecting their eggs. Feeding and playing with a stir crazy Chihuahua and an elderly Akita in the heat of a desert summer. That is sign number one that I should refer to them as ‘friends.’ They are willing to sacrifice their time to help us out. Sign number two was made of flashing neon. After only one day away from home we received a call from said friends letting us know that they, and unfortunately their children, had found our elderly Akita dead in our yard. While trying to console their own children from this devastating event they also took steps to be positive our dog had in fact expired and would not be suffering. This, in the end, meant that they examined a dead dog for us. That would be enough to place them solidly in the friend category.

Just to remove all doubt, sign number three was lit up like the Las Vegas strip on the fourth of July. Our friends offered to take care of our dogs remains in the way that made us most comfortable which meant taking our dog to the animal shelter for cremation. Seeing as this all occurred on a Sunday they had to do so the following day as the animal shelter was closed. Still, they assured us that they were glad to be able to serve us in this way. They returned as promised and began the task of loading a dead dog into a box and then into the back of their SUV. They were not quite prepared for the state that this body would be in after a day in the desert heat. It proved to be a larger task then planned but they performed it masterfully. After securing the temperary casket in the back of their car they thought the hard part was behind them. The smell filling the car proved otherwise. They immediately and instinctually rolled down the windows. The gust of wind was a welcome reprieve from the horrible scent but the breeze betrayed them as it rolled through the car blowing the box top open! The stench reaches unbearable proportions. The driver holds a sweatshirt over his face and the passenger keeps her head out of the window as they race to their destination. They used so many cans of air freshener that they are sure to receive hate mail from Al Gore. At this point I would not be surprised if they asked to have their names removed from our ‘friend’ list. And then came sign number four. They laughed the whole way home and thanked us for giving them an interesting story to tell on occasion.

So, what makes a real ‘friend’? I still consider my old classmates and my in-laws in-laws friends. We have shared experiences and common interests. I also refer to people I Blurk or Blog Stalk as friends. (Though that’s mostly because people think I’m a lunatic when I say things like “I read about a similar experience on a blog I follow.” Some people just don’t get it, including my husband) Even if our only connection is only that we knew each other once way back when or have never met but have been profoundly inspired by one another’s experiences, we’re written on each other’s histories. Though, from now on, I won’t be using the word ‘friend’ so cavalierly.

My FRIEND Lisa and I (gettin' our silly on)